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adventdrabblesTitle: Faith, Hope, and Maybe Something Else
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Dean/Cas
Rating/Warnings: T, spoilers through SPN 15x07
Prompt: Christmas kittens
Summary: Castiel figured he’d probably just ensured that the Empty would never come for him.
Castiel figured he’d probably just ensured that the Empty would never come for him. That kiss and everything that followed, well, he was half-surprised that the entity hadn’t come to drag him away right then. But after all they’d managed to work through so far, he knew they couldn’t move forward without Dean knowing that was hanging over him.
He may also have been thinking of the look on Dean’s face that morning when he’d seen Castiel wearing that sweater. The sweater that reminded Dean of an actor who looked like him and had been murdered. He might not be here to witness it, but he couldn’t be the cause of Dean feeling such pain.
Of course, he was clearly now feeling plenty of pain anyway.
“So how do we break it?” Dean asked for the third time. He was pacing on the far side of the room, the bed an impassable barrier between them.
“I’m not sure we can,” Castiel replied. “There is a chance that, since Jack is now almost certainly in the Empty, the entity will consider the deal moot. However, it was clearly very much looking forward to tormenting me, so I would not place good odds that it won’t follow through.”
Dean ran his fingers through his hair again.
“And you think if we…” Dean gestured at the bed.
“I think if I allowed myself to believe we could be happy, truly happy, that would be when it would come,” Castiel replied.
“For a second there, I almost believed it,” Dean said. “Thought life was going to be all Christmas kittens and puppies and unicorns and whatever, at least for a second or two. But if it ain’t Chuck, it’s the Empty.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. But I couldn’t let it take him.”
Dean looked over at him. “I get it man. I’d have done the same for Sam.”
Castiel declined to point out that Dean basically had done the same for Sam, which was why Castiel had had to pull him out of hell in the first place. That would lead nowhere useful.
“But we have to fix this,” Dean said. “We will fix this.”
“For now,” Castiel said, “I should go.”
“What? No! Go where?”
“There is nothing in the library that is likely to be of use, but perhaps I have missed something. And I believe you are likely in need of ‘space.’”
“Yeah, well, you believe incorrectly,” Dean said. “I’ll come with you. But yeah, let’s get out of here.”
The walk to the library had never felt so long.
As they passed by Sam’s room, Dean asked, “Is that the television?”
“Yes, Sam and Eileen returned about fifteen minutes ago.”
Dean smiled then gritted his teeth. Castiel knew the feeling.
“You know,” Dean said, “there might be nothing in the Men of Letters stuff, but Sam brought back a bunch of Rowena’s journals. Might be something good there. Either for the Empty or for Chuck.”
Castiel couldn’t bear to take away that bit of hope. He didn’t dare cling to any himself, but perhaps Dean would have enough for both of them.
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Dean/Cas
Rating/Warnings: T, spoilers through SPN 15x07
Prompt: Christmas kittens
Summary: Castiel figured he’d probably just ensured that the Empty would never come for him.
Castiel figured he’d probably just ensured that the Empty would never come for him. That kiss and everything that followed, well, he was half-surprised that the entity hadn’t come to drag him away right then. But after all they’d managed to work through so far, he knew they couldn’t move forward without Dean knowing that was hanging over him.
He may also have been thinking of the look on Dean’s face that morning when he’d seen Castiel wearing that sweater. The sweater that reminded Dean of an actor who looked like him and had been murdered. He might not be here to witness it, but he couldn’t be the cause of Dean feeling such pain.
Of course, he was clearly now feeling plenty of pain anyway.
“So how do we break it?” Dean asked for the third time. He was pacing on the far side of the room, the bed an impassable barrier between them.
“I’m not sure we can,” Castiel replied. “There is a chance that, since Jack is now almost certainly in the Empty, the entity will consider the deal moot. However, it was clearly very much looking forward to tormenting me, so I would not place good odds that it won’t follow through.”
Dean ran his fingers through his hair again.
“And you think if we…” Dean gestured at the bed.
“I think if I allowed myself to believe we could be happy, truly happy, that would be when it would come,” Castiel replied.
“For a second there, I almost believed it,” Dean said. “Thought life was going to be all Christmas kittens and puppies and unicorns and whatever, at least for a second or two. But if it ain’t Chuck, it’s the Empty.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. But I couldn’t let it take him.”
Dean looked over at him. “I get it man. I’d have done the same for Sam.”
Castiel declined to point out that Dean basically had done the same for Sam, which was why Castiel had had to pull him out of hell in the first place. That would lead nowhere useful.
“But we have to fix this,” Dean said. “We will fix this.”
“For now,” Castiel said, “I should go.”
“What? No! Go where?”
“There is nothing in the library that is likely to be of use, but perhaps I have missed something. And I believe you are likely in need of ‘space.’”
“Yeah, well, you believe incorrectly,” Dean said. “I’ll come with you. But yeah, let’s get out of here.”
The walk to the library had never felt so long.
As they passed by Sam’s room, Dean asked, “Is that the television?”
“Yes, Sam and Eileen returned about fifteen minutes ago.”
Dean smiled then gritted his teeth. Castiel knew the feeling.
“You know,” Dean said, “there might be nothing in the Men of Letters stuff, but Sam brought back a bunch of Rowena’s journals. Might be something good there. Either for the Empty or for Chuck.”
Castiel couldn’t bear to take away that bit of hope. He didn’t dare cling to any himself, but perhaps Dean would have enough for both of them.
