Dec. 21st; Friends, 'Secret Santa Gifts'
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adventdrabblesTitle: 'Secret Santa Gifts'
Fandom: Friends
Characters: Monica Geller, Ross Geller, Rachel Greene, Phoebe Buffay, Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani
Rating: PG (Warnings for very mild language, and for content that might be construed as suggestive.)
"Okay; I've got a question," Monica started, taking a moment to sip her hot cider. "What's the worst Secret Santa gift any of you have received?"
"Ooh! I'll go first," Phoebe volunteered. She thought about it for a minute, before replying: "Half of a rotten apple." In reply to everyone else's shocked stares and outcries, she added, "Well, it's hard to hold Secret Santa when you're living on the street. I'm lucky I even got that much."
Rachel frowned worriedly. "Gee, maybe we shouldn't be having this discussion, then, Pheebs. It might make you feel bad--"
"No--I want to hear everyone else's answers," Phoebe insisted. "Just because I had it rough growing up doesn't mean I have to spoil your fun with it. Who's next?"
Joey raised a hand. "Gift card to a bookstore." He snorted. "What am I gonna do in a bookstore?"
Ross sighed. "Some of us might actually like to get a bookstore gift card," he pointed out. Unimpressed, Joey waved him off, taking a large bite of a scone. "Mine would have to be...a copy of the Kama Sutra. Of course, I got it after Carol left me for Susan."
"So it was a case of too little, too late," Chandler smirked.
"Yeah, well, I know yours, and it wasn't much better!"
"Ooh...what was Chandler's," Phoebe asked eagerly, leaning closer to Ross. The others--apart from a now-embarrassed Chandler--were quick to follow suit.
Chandler groaned. "God, don't tell them..."
"Chandler was given a box of condoms," Ross smugly replied.
"Hey! That sounds like the perfect Secret Santa gift," Joey protested.
"I'll take it from here," Chandler sighed resignedly. "Thanks for selling me out," he grumbled in Ross's direction. "Anyway, the gift sucked. The guy who gave it to me decided that, hey, I'm just some pathetic loser who can't get laid. So he proceeded to keep them all for himself, and he left me with the damn box."
The others gave a collective sympathetic wince.
Rachel quickly tried to change the subject. "Mine sucked, too. Some guy who kept hitting on me in gym class back in high school gave me one of those tacky pine-tree-shaped car air fresheners." She shrugged. "I guess he thought that it smelled nice, and I smelled nice, so I'd appreciate the gesture, and ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. So that just leaves...Mon. What was your worst Secret Santa gift?"
"A stick of sugar-free gum," Monica muttered. "And this was after I lost all the weight. I don't know if it was some kind of backhanded 'Keep up the good work' gesture, or something. But it blew."
"Not as much as an empty box of condoms," Chandler mumbled into his coffee mug.
Fandom: Friends
Characters: Monica Geller, Ross Geller, Rachel Greene, Phoebe Buffay, Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani
Rating: PG (Warnings for very mild language, and for content that might be construed as suggestive.)
"Okay; I've got a question," Monica started, taking a moment to sip her hot cider. "What's the worst Secret Santa gift any of you have received?"
"Ooh! I'll go first," Phoebe volunteered. She thought about it for a minute, before replying: "Half of a rotten apple." In reply to everyone else's shocked stares and outcries, she added, "Well, it's hard to hold Secret Santa when you're living on the street. I'm lucky I even got that much."
Rachel frowned worriedly. "Gee, maybe we shouldn't be having this discussion, then, Pheebs. It might make you feel bad--"
"No--I want to hear everyone else's answers," Phoebe insisted. "Just because I had it rough growing up doesn't mean I have to spoil your fun with it. Who's next?"
Joey raised a hand. "Gift card to a bookstore." He snorted. "What am I gonna do in a bookstore?"
Ross sighed. "Some of us might actually like to get a bookstore gift card," he pointed out. Unimpressed, Joey waved him off, taking a large bite of a scone. "Mine would have to be...a copy of the Kama Sutra. Of course, I got it after Carol left me for Susan."
"So it was a case of too little, too late," Chandler smirked.
"Yeah, well, I know yours, and it wasn't much better!"
"Ooh...what was Chandler's," Phoebe asked eagerly, leaning closer to Ross. The others--apart from a now-embarrassed Chandler--were quick to follow suit.
Chandler groaned. "God, don't tell them..."
"Chandler was given a box of condoms," Ross smugly replied.
"Hey! That sounds like the perfect Secret Santa gift," Joey protested.
"I'll take it from here," Chandler sighed resignedly. "Thanks for selling me out," he grumbled in Ross's direction. "Anyway, the gift sucked. The guy who gave it to me decided that, hey, I'm just some pathetic loser who can't get laid. So he proceeded to keep them all for himself, and he left me with the damn box."
The others gave a collective sympathetic wince.
Rachel quickly tried to change the subject. "Mine sucked, too. Some guy who kept hitting on me in gym class back in high school gave me one of those tacky pine-tree-shaped car air fresheners." She shrugged. "I guess he thought that it smelled nice, and I smelled nice, so I'd appreciate the gesture, and ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. So that just leaves...Mon. What was your worst Secret Santa gift?"
"A stick of sugar-free gum," Monica muttered. "And this was after I lost all the weight. I don't know if it was some kind of backhanded 'Keep up the good work' gesture, or something. But it blew."
"Not as much as an empty box of condoms," Chandler mumbled into his coffee mug.
