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adventdrabblesTitle: Don't Ask
Fandom: Golden Girls
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Blanche/Dorothy, Rose, Sophia
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Don't Ask, Don't Tell comes to Miami, Florida Saint Nick style.
Word Count: 507
Written For: Advent Drabbles
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
It's the middle of the night when Rose hears the banging. Her eyes pop open, and she lays completely still in her bed as she listens. It's not the coyotes or any foxes, she quickly recognizes. It's also not the Trolls that everybody else tells her aren't real, but she knows are and has since she was a very small child. She sits up slowly, her heart racing, not daring to make a sound, barely daring to breathe. She gropes blindly around her bed until her fingers find the hard steel of the baseball bat Coco gave her.
She wraps her fingers around the bat's handle, brings it closer to her, and still she sits, listening, not daring to move, or barely blink, or scarcely breathe. Her heart is pounding, and it's the loudest sound in the room. But it's definitely not the loudest sound in the house. Gripping her bat, Rose slowly inches from her bed. She stands on the cold floor. She grimaces as the cold shoots through her bare, old feet, but slippers might well make too much noise.
Slowly, her bat at the ready, she inches her way from her room, down the hall, and into the living room. The entire Christmas tree is shaking, and then she hears it -- Blanche moaning and crying. Rose sighs, her shoulders slumping and drops the bat. "Of all the things!" she declares. "You liked to have gave me a fright!"
Sophia, coming in from the lanai, switches on the light and screams.
"Sophia! It's just -- "
Sophia screams again. "Give me that bat, Rose!"
"What?! Sophia!"
"I know it's Dorothy and Blanche under there, but that woman is not giving my daughter a STD! She didn't get it from Stan; she's not getting it from Glamor Puss!"
"Ma!"
"It's okay, Dorothy," Blanche says, laughing, "but unless you girls want a show, Ah suggest you go on back to yoah rooms!"
Rose's face is still paler than her plain, cotton nightgown. "Of all the things!" she cries. "I'm not against you girls being together, but really, Dorothy?! In a Santa Claus suit?! What would you say to Saint Nicholas?! How would you explain that to the children?!"
"I'd say ho ho ho, he doesn't exi--" Dorothy's eyes shoot questions and daggers at her girlfriend as Blanche has covered her mouth promptly with her hand.
"If th' girl wants to believe, Dorothy, let her!" Blanche hisses. "At least there's some innocence left in this room!"
"There's going to be some innocence all right, Glamour -- "
"Ma, I already told you, if I didn't get it from Stan, I'm not going to get it from Blanche!"
Sophia sighs and relents, dropping her shoulders and the bat she'd taken from Rose. "All right, fine," she mutters. Glaring at Blanche, she adds, "But you better not hurt her! Come on, Rose."
"I've heard of naughty or nice or don't ask," Rose cries, "but this is ridiculous!" Nonetheless she obediently follows Sophia back to her room. Still, no one else will sleep that night!
The End
Fandom: Golden Girls
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Blanche/Dorothy, Rose, Sophia
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Don't Ask, Don't Tell comes to Miami, Florida Saint Nick style.
Word Count: 507
Written For: Advent Drabbles
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
It's the middle of the night when Rose hears the banging. Her eyes pop open, and she lays completely still in her bed as she listens. It's not the coyotes or any foxes, she quickly recognizes. It's also not the Trolls that everybody else tells her aren't real, but she knows are and has since she was a very small child. She sits up slowly, her heart racing, not daring to make a sound, barely daring to breathe. She gropes blindly around her bed until her fingers find the hard steel of the baseball bat Coco gave her.
She wraps her fingers around the bat's handle, brings it closer to her, and still she sits, listening, not daring to move, or barely blink, or scarcely breathe. Her heart is pounding, and it's the loudest sound in the room. But it's definitely not the loudest sound in the house. Gripping her bat, Rose slowly inches from her bed. She stands on the cold floor. She grimaces as the cold shoots through her bare, old feet, but slippers might well make too much noise.
Slowly, her bat at the ready, she inches her way from her room, down the hall, and into the living room. The entire Christmas tree is shaking, and then she hears it -- Blanche moaning and crying. Rose sighs, her shoulders slumping and drops the bat. "Of all the things!" she declares. "You liked to have gave me a fright!"
Sophia, coming in from the lanai, switches on the light and screams.
"Sophia! It's just -- "
Sophia screams again. "Give me that bat, Rose!"
"What?! Sophia!"
"I know it's Dorothy and Blanche under there, but that woman is not giving my daughter a STD! She didn't get it from Stan; she's not getting it from Glamor Puss!"
"Ma!"
"It's okay, Dorothy," Blanche says, laughing, "but unless you girls want a show, Ah suggest you go on back to yoah rooms!"
Rose's face is still paler than her plain, cotton nightgown. "Of all the things!" she cries. "I'm not against you girls being together, but really, Dorothy?! In a Santa Claus suit?! What would you say to Saint Nicholas?! How would you explain that to the children?!"
"I'd say ho ho ho, he doesn't exi--" Dorothy's eyes shoot questions and daggers at her girlfriend as Blanche has covered her mouth promptly with her hand.
"If th' girl wants to believe, Dorothy, let her!" Blanche hisses. "At least there's some innocence left in this room!"
"There's going to be some innocence all right, Glamour -- "
"Ma, I already told you, if I didn't get it from Stan, I'm not going to get it from Blanche!"
Sophia sighs and relents, dropping her shoulders and the bat she'd taken from Rose. "All right, fine," she mutters. Glaring at Blanche, she adds, "But you better not hurt her! Come on, Rose."
"I've heard of naughty or nice or don't ask," Rose cries, "but this is ridiculous!" Nonetheless she obediently follows Sophia back to her room. Still, no one else will sleep that night!
The End
